43 Dirty Facts You’re Dying to Know but Are Too Afraid to Ask

Who can say whether these facts are things you need to know, or even should know? And while these facts may not be safe for work viewing (especially if you’re about to plug your computer in for a presentation), they could make for some interesting happy hour icebreakers off the clock. Just don’t bring us into it if you get reported to HR for being “that guy.”

You always knew they had you beat size-wise…

But suffice it to say that elephants truly have humans beat in just about every area. Memory, size, empathy, size, speed, size, and now, their dicks can grab things! They can even use them as kick stands to help reach leaves that are too high up. And just think, all yours can do is make people laugh when it gets hit with a baseball. Especially if it’s a baseball an elephant threw with his penis.

Your favorite things might have more in common than you thought.

Maybe it’s just that all good things have the same acidity? Either way, this definitely isn’t an excuse to put beer in your vagina. That would be cold and gross and probably very bad. It is something extra to think about next time you crack a cold one though, especially if it’s yeasty. Hey, we don’t make the facts, we just put them in your face and make you deal with them.